apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
