capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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