I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
