Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
