i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
