when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
