So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
