i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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