Got a toothbrush?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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