The maid of honor just puked.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
