New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
