what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
