Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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