My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
