im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize