i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think your dad took our porno
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
