I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
