We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize