My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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