Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
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I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
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He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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