Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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