OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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