he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
