So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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