did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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