went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
