toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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