You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
