And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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