yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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