can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
