she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
