if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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