My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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