I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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