TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
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I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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