So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
