Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
