yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize