if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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