this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
