sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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