god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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