Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize