If that was your dad, he is hot
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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