this just has baby written all over it
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The power of my boobs compel you
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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