Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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