i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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