would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
