I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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