I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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