i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Vodka?
Forever.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
