oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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