dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i think i have herpe
just one?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize