If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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