he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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