were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Randomize
