No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
