bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
