Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
