You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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