I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
ttyl tear gas
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
