Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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